‘There are only four people who knew what the Beatles were about anyway.’
It’s currently 4am here, and I don’t know why but I had this sudden urge to create a blog, and to share my thoughts and stuff with strangers on the internet. Yes, I may not be thinking rationally since it’s 4am, but well, I think this may be fun?
No, I’m lying. I don’t really know why I wanted to create a blog and I don’t think it’s fun
(more of a tedious job, really), but I guess I wanted to record down the thoughts of you know, current me as a reminder to future me not to stray away from being herself. Something like that, because I’m bound to change right? And so, when I do, I would like to just read back what the ‘old’ Wendy Tan blogged about about and remind my future self to remember to remember. I don’t know if anybody will understand that, but I do find myself trying so goddamn hard to look forward, tomorrow, tomorrow,the future, yada yada, that sometimes, I forgot to look back or even live in the moment. This blog is to remind me of that. Cheesy, I know, but true, nonetheless. :)
But seriously, I think I need this.
A place to vent out my rage and feelings and all that uh, feelings. Yes, I do think it’s emotionally healthy to vent out feelings on a blog to invisible strangers. It’s much more convenient and safer that way.
Also, I need a place to share my hidden thoughts. Sometimes, I converse with myself in my head
(seriously don’t know if others do that, because if they don’t, I am just plain weird) and some of the stuff I say to myself are quite brilliant, if I do say so myself. And so, if I don’t share some of my weird mojo with others, it would be a waste. Ew. Self praise.
And lastly, I’m going through a phase now, from high school to college and this is one major transition. I’m going to say I feel absolutely weird and kinda emotionless right now, because I don’t know how to feel about things changing, and me changing. Right now, I’m not even freaking out or excited. It’s like there’s a whole load of new possibilities, out there in the future, somewhere. But I’m here in the middle weird phase, between letting go, and dashing forward.
So, yeah, that’s me right now.